Sunday, May 22, 2011

"The Wall"

I just found myself feeling like I was back in highschool, flashbacks raced through my mind from highschool of the loud chatter I heard coming from the of the back of the senior lounge. The banter and laughter filled the air from the exclusive table from only which the "popular people" gathered known as "The Wall".  I never was privy to that table and sat which seemed like miles away with my "nice girlfriends," at a table made for four.

I often found myself making curious glances to that sacred spot, not envious in anyway, most of them I would probably think twice of saving from a burning building.  But, I often wondered if they thought everyone else gathered in the room was less than them.  I think they did.  Seeing the garnet and gold warrior symbol above the wall and feeling that I just wasn't good enough was my first hard lesson in the chain of hierarchy that I thought would banish after highschool.  How wrong I was......As a confident, out-spoken almost 40 year old I realize "The Wall" still exists.  I can still enter a large room, and know matter right or wrong certain people still hold the cards.  There is still the popular and unpopular and sadly this has little to do with character.

I remind myself daily in order to save my sanity, that all that really matters in life is who shares your table at the end of the day whether it be your spouse, children, parents, friend, or a person in need.  I always make it a point that everyone feels welcomed to join me at my table.


  1. You really do make everyone welcome! I miss seeing you at least weekly.

  2. That you do!
    You keep on being wonderful.
    It makes you a special lady. :)

  3. I agree with you that ultimately it's the people we share our table with at the end of the day that matter most. I too always felt like an outsider looking in on the "cool" kids during high school. Although these situations seem to continue into adult life, I find that in adulthood most of the people who involve themselves in such social contexts really never moved beyond the high school social experience. Perhaps they are emotionally and socially immature. They have an "emotional need" to make themselves feel better than other people perhaps because they feel they don't feel fulfilled in any other way, so they need to create their own self-importance. This does not excuse the behavior, it's just some ideas to try to help me understand this type of continued behavior.